A Simple Shepherd
by Backroads
Summary: What would it be like to officiate a NICE wedding?


Shepherd Niu had never considered himself to the most religious of his order, or even significantly spiritual. Oh, to be sure he was a believer and he did his best to provide inspiration to his flock, but there wasn't much he could offer in the way of fancy preaching to the folks of a planet not close enough to the main pulse of the Alliance for much culture yet not far enough to create its own. A few trips to hear the words of other shepherds had left him awed and humble, but somehow his gusto to speak so fancily dissipated on the journey home. Folks of Galpa liked religion well-enough, but it was hard to lose themselves in study of the Word when there was so much else to be doing. Niu wasn't even sure he wanted to give a big eloquent sermon. He liked being a preacher, but his mission seemed to be of the more practical sort. And that was just fine with him. Give counsel and solace to those who sought them, subtly advise those who didn't want to admit to seeking them, and speak of the Bible and doing good. After that he was perfectly happy doing that good he spoke of. Serve the people, pour soup in the soup kitchens, and perform a few necessary ceremonies.

He didn't ask for much, but he did wish he could get a little more respect in that last thing. What was it these days? Baptize a soul in a hurry like it was something from a checklist. Marry a couple for the sole reason of keepings relationships proper. He didn't mean to complain, but he did not like feeling like the shepherd to be pulled out when something was needed.

The notion of eloping, for example, had long ceased to enchant him with its so-called romance. Whatever happened to a proper wedding before community and God? But no, Galpa was the sort of place just off a main route that made it ideal for stopping in for a quickie wedding. The couple was in, the words were said, the couple was gone with scarcely a thanks.

Maybe Niu was just old-fashioned. Maybe he had to get with the times, times that couldn't always afford the glamour of a wedding. But still it was no good in his view to have a whole year go by with happy unions consisting only of six couples he had never before seen who came in the grubbiest clothes this side of a tar pit.

Well, what could he do? At least folks were getting married, and for what reason did he exist than to help people? Okay, he'd speak a few words and officiate a rushed marriage. He just didn't understand it.

There were a few of those odd little marriages that stuck with him. Two young people, hardly looked old-enough, and to this day Niu wasn't sure he believed the legitimacy of their identification. Then there was the woman at least 26 months pregnant by the size of her and a groom that wouldn't stop crying. And another ceremony that had seemed almost romantic, almost normal, until the groom's wife, heretofore unmentioned, burst in. Then there was that one that was apparently disproved of.

The knock had come in the middle of the night. Niu had kept his eyes shut, praying that whoever would go away, that it wasn't something important like an illness or death.

No, the knocking just kept on going.

Folks could pretty insistent. Well, an emergency was worth continuous knocking. He pulled on a bathrobe and stumbled to the door.

A man and a woman smiled at him. They looked perfectly healthy.

He blinked at them, imagining himself to look like an unshaven wreck. "What's the emergency?"

The woman laughed. Niu supposed she was pretty, though he was incapable of properly appreciating the beauty of anyone who woke him in the dead of night. "We need a wedding.

"Pronto," said the man. "The kind where you tell me to kiss my bride, sign a document, and send us on our way."

The only kind he seemed to have anymore.

Niu fought back a yawn. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yes," said the man. He was blonde and far too cheerful and Niu decided he hated him with every fiber of his sleepy being. "On this planet's time clock it's two hours past midnight."

"Yes," said Niu. "It's sleeping time."

"Exactly," said the woman. "Our captain is asleep making this the only time a wedding is possible."

"Your captain?"

"He's completely against the marriage. Wants Zoe here for himself."

Zoe rolled his eyes. "For crying out loud, he does not."

Niu so wanted to return to bed. "You're sneaking out to get married because your… captain says you can't?"

"Told you we'd get ourselves a smart preacher, Zoe," said the blonde man. "God certainly speaks through this one."

"Morning," Niu muttered. "Come back in the morning." He tried to close the door, but Zoe had her foot in it.

"I'm afraid it can't wait, Shepherd," she said sternly. "We need a wedding now."

"But…"

"We have the license," the man said, waving a cartridge. "We're ready for this."

"But what's your captain going to say?"

"Shepherds don't do divorces. He can't say anything. No, I take that back. He'll have plenty to say. But he can't do anything."

"He wakes up early," the woman put in. "We want to get married now. And quickly. He's a light sleeper."

Whatever would make these people go away. Niu stumbled away for his Bible. Good thing he was well-versed in fast weddings. Cut right to the basics.

But it was in the middle of the night. A totally unholy hour. No one could be happy for the celebration of a life union at this time.

He stumbled and yawned through his lines only to get to the end of it and realize he had never asked for the man's name.

"Just call me Wash."

Niu considered asking for full legal name, but he no longer cared. "Wash, do you take Zoe—"

"I certainly do."

Whatever. "And Zoe—"

"Yes."

Good enough. No one was looking over his shoulder. "Okay. I bind you in marriage. You may—"

They were already kissing. It was disgusting to watch.

He closed his Bible and prepared to close the door.

"Hey, Shepherd?" the woman called.

He stopped.

"Thanks. Thank-you ever so much."

Wash nodded. "Yes. Much thanks and many happy thoughts your way."

Niu smiled. It was nice to hear thanks. "Blessings on your life together." Then he stumbled back to bed.

He was about to drift back to sleep when the door was pounded again.

There was another man there, no bride in sight. Just this tall angry man looking fit to kill.

"Did you just marry two people?"

Niu just stared at him. The once-mentioned captain.

"Did you perform a marriage ceremony?" The man's hands tightened into fists. "On my pilot and my first mate?"

Heavens, it was too late for this. Niu just shrugged.

"I wake up to find them gone. I'm going to kill both of them." The phrase was sprinkled with a few choice words. "Which way did they go?"

Niu really had no idea. But now he just wanted sleep more than anything. He had planned to help in the fields in the morning. He pointed in a random direction and sort of hoped he was wrong.

The man charged off.

Niu watched him go, then shut the door and locked it.

Maybe it would be nice to give huge eloquent sermons of spirituality, not be so… practical. Maybe it would be nice to officiate a real wedding.

But no sense in worrying.

He was going to look for earplugs.

_The End_


End file.
